What NOT to do … a dog owner's guide

This past Memorial Day weekend people were out in full force enjoying our nice short-lived MN weather. As I was out and about around the lakes in Minneapolis I happened to notice several “DON’Ts” for any dog owner and for the benefit of mankind I’ve chosen to illustrate what NOT to do to your dog.

This may (and should) seem like common sense to most.

Tip #1: Do NOT put a hat on your dog!

It’s pretty sad, but I saw several hats on dogs this weekend. You may be a middle-aged woman longing for a child and want to dress them up, but your dog is not a substitute and you must resist this urge at all costs (also see Tip 3). Do NOT put a hat on your dog. They don’t want it, and it humiliates you both! See photo.

I saw several hats on dogs this weekend and in each instance (besides it looking totally frickin’ ridiculous) the dog was humiliated (tail down) and kept clawing at it in an attempt to remove the uncomfortable torture device.

Tip #2: Do NOT put goggles on your dog!

Another pet fashion catastrophe I noticed was people putting sport goggles on their dogs. I saw this several times. In each case the dog kept shaking it’s head violently to try and remove the goggles. I couldn’t but help feel sorry for the dog each time. And what I kept thinking was, "If the dog keeps shaking its head the goggles will end up hurting its eyes rather than protect them, right?" It took all my willpower to not run over to the dog, take the goggles off, and yell at the owner for being an idiot and torturing their pet.

Think about it, dogs are animals and better equipped than us for outdoor harsh situations. Also, chances are if it’s 85 degrees outside, sunny and mild your dog is not going to need protective eyeware.

Tip #3: Do NOT put your dog into outfits, no matter how small it is.

Lastly, I will point out that it's not cool to dress your dog up in various “cute” themed outfits. I saw an older lady this weekend carrying around her very small dog, as if it was her child, in what I can only guess was a Teddy Bear themed outfit. She thought it was adorable, however everyone else around her thought it was about the saddest thing they’d ever seen. No dressing up your dog in so-called “cute” themed outfits! I know your dog can’t talk, but I know they don’t like it. Trust me! Again, it humiliates you both.

So overall I hope we’ve learned some important tips on being a responsible dog owner here today. (I should also point out the same goes for cat owners.)

Today’s Lesson: DO NOT DRESS UP YOUR DOG! It humiliates you both!

May 25th, 1977

Today marks the 30th anniversary of one of the greatest movies of our time ... Star Wars.

Like so many out there this was the first movie that really got me interested and opened my eyes to the realm of movies/film. I still remember watching it for the first time as a kid with my Dad. Just magical; I was hooked instantly.

Happy 30th Star Wars!!

Ice Cream Man

Today I was reminded of the power of the Ice Cream Man.

I should back up a bit here; today was my ad agency's "Ledge Party" marking the official start of summer and the opening of "The Ledge" where co-workers can sit outside, hang out and most importantly ... GRILL over the lunch hour!! All while overlooking picturesque Downtown Minneapolis and the Metrodome.

So to mark the opening of The Ledge our President and Owner grilled up a storm (burgers and brats) along with a full spread of food and drinks. Quite the good time!

However, this party all ended with a trip down to the parking lot where the Ice Cream Man with his truck was waiting for all of us with dessert. It was amazing to see my fellow co-workers transform into 12-year-old children instantly. One look at that truck and all of the tasty ice cream options posted on the side and I started having flashbacks to when I was a kid.

I think where the Ice Cream Man truly derives his power from is that "distinct" sound/song the truck makes. That sound is magical and INSTANTLY recognizable. The second you heard it (when you were a kid), doesn't matter what you were doing (or if you were half dressed), you immediately ran out of your house like a shotgun blast yelling, "ICE CREAM MAN!!!" I remember doing this and simultaneously watching all the other neighbor kids doing the same. The power this song created was so overwhelming that most times I would notice kids running up to the Ice Cream Truck, beckoned by the siren call, who totally forgot their money and were forced to run back and chance it or beg and plead from friends for spare change.

I wonder does the Ice Cream Man know the power he holds? Could he harness this power, this magical sound, and say ... run for President with promises of ice cream treats for all? Perhaps that's just the beginning...

At any rate, summer is finally here and it's officially ice cream season. High Five!

What are some good movies out?

Being the lover of movies that I am I often get asked, "Andy, what's good out now that I should go see?" Well look no further! Here are my recommendations on what you should go see this weekend if you're looking for a good flick.

Hot Fuzz
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost

From the makers for Shaun of the Dead, here's another brilliant comedy poking fun at all the cop thriller/action movies out there. This movie had me (and the audience) laughing from beginning to end. Easily one of the more brilliant comedic films of 2007!

Disturbia
Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Sarah Roemer, David Morse, and Carrie-Anne Moss

In this Rear Window-like remake, a teen (Shia LaBeouf) is living under house arrest and becomes convinced and obsessed that his neighbor is a serial killer. Truly a great popcorn thriller flick, with flashes of hot teen action, that will have you glued to the screen from beginning to end. I remember walking out of the theater with the feeling of being energized after seeing a great movie, and also on the lookout for creepy neighbors. Beware!

28 Weeks Later

The sequel to 28 Days Later. In this horror flick we join six months after the rage virus was inflicted on the population of the British Isles, the US Army helps to secure a small area of London for the survivors to repopulate and start again. But not everything goes to plan. Well of course it doesn't, we need some zombies, right?!? RIGHT!! Scary, intense zombie rage adrenaline-pumping action ensues. Nuff said. Enjoy!

Spiderman 3
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Topher Grace, James Franco and Thomas Haden Church

Not much to say here. 3rd Spiderman movie. Too many characters, not enough time. Cool looking villans and effects, but the story suffers as there's not enough time to explore all of this tale's threads. However, if you like the first two Spiderman flicks chances are you'll enjoy this one. How can a zillion movie goers and dollars made be wrong? Lastly, Topher Grace (in my opinion) steals the show with his smart ass, wise cracking attitude.
Go Topher!!

Mother's Day Flowers

Since this past Sunday was Mother's Day, what better way to spend it than with my Mom?!? Well I was out at the parents' house and my Mom is into flowers, mix in a nice sunny day and a nearby camera and voila! You get the below pics.

Parking lot Parenting

Over my lunch break today I made a stop at everyone’s favorite French department store … Target. And what I witnessed really made me think about how parents scold their kids. Well here’s the story…

I parked my car, got out and as I approached the front door of Target I checked for traffic. However, as I was doing this my attention was immediately diverted to the store’s entrance where an overweight, unkempt and all-around scary mother (whom I’ll call ‘Large Marge’) was yelling at her daughter who’s arms were folded with a stern face as she intently studied the ground for any imperfections.

Large Marge walked out of Target and started yelling, “Well that’s just TOO DAMN BAD. You know when YOU make THE MONEY and GET A JOB you can get WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! But until then, I MAKE THE MONEY! SO TOUGH!!” (You tell her Marge! Yikes.)

It was quite the scene. I thought for a little while there that Marge was going to “slap the sense” right onto her daughter face. But alas, she didn’t.

As I beheld this parenting spectacle I couldn't help feel like this whole episode embarrassed the parent more than the child. The kid totally ignored her mother, and could’ve cared less. While passersby instead watched Marge (who looked crazy) and silently made judgment calls.

I guess in the future if you’re going to yell at (or slap) your kids do it in private or at least wait till you get to the car because well … everyone is always watching!

Lake Harriet

Well, summer has finally arrived and the weather the last few days has been fan-FREAKIN-tastic! So I've been out and about enjoying it around the Lake Harriet area.

I decided to go for a walk yesterday and bring the camera along. Here's a few pics I took. Enjoy the photo journey.

Nature's Suprises

I was out at my parents house this weekend and my Mom was about to move a small Evergreen tree that was put outside as a Christmas/Winter decoration. Well she went to move it and out flew a bird. A Chipping Sparrow to be exact. And what she found next was a very small nest with eggs. Kinda funny. Life's full of suprises, most times they exist right under your nose.

I snapped a few pics. Enjoy!




Links:

Kurt Vonnegut Library

How Big is the World?

InterFaceLift (Great Wallpaper site)

Encyclopedia of Life

Harry Potter and Star Wars

Windy Weekend

The tornados may have been in Kansas, but you would have thought they stopped by to say hello here in MN with the wind gusts this weekend.

Here's a pic I took as I was walking around Lake Harriet (into Gale Force winds) on Sunday. There were a number of sailboats tipped over, along with a few other things I discovered such as: downed tree branches, shingles that had fallen off of roofs, and trash cans askew in neighbors' lawns. In the words of Frankenstein, "WIND .... BAAAADDDD!"

What I'm listening to...

Well I just couldn't wait for the album to come out on June 19th. So I bit the bullet and downloaded the single off of iTunes. Hey, it's only a dollar! Well the single 'Icky Thump' doesn't disappoint and is uniquely The White Stripes. Lots of good guitar. I dig it!

Man, I can't wait for this album to come out!!

Just Funny...

Will Ferrell as Neil Diamond. The true stories behind some of Neil's most beloved songs. Enjoy! (Goulet!!)

What I'm listening to...

The morning just seemed to beckon for the soulful soothing sounds of Miles Davis.

Weekend Update

(A brief recap of the last few days' events. Enjoy over coffee!)

FRIDAY
- Woke up (unwillingly), went to work (unwillingly) … time ticked backwards.

- After work, got in a good run around Lake Harriet (3.2 mi)

- Took in a show at 7th St. Entry (Downtown MPLS) with my friend Ben to experience the music sensation known as James Apollo (starring my friend Adam). Later that night I ran into another friend (Preston); we all hung out and it was like a mini high school reunion. We drank, we reminisced, we gave Adam shit for not planning our 10-year high school reunion.

- Ben and I stopped by the Uptown Diner for some eats on the way home. Scary people, great food. If you’re in Uptown I recommend you stop on in.

SATURDAY
- Met the parents for breakfast at Perkins. Ba-chomp ba-chomp ba-chewie chewie chomp.

- After breakfast, stopped out at the parents’ house to help them with odd jobs and do laundry. (free laundry rules!) And watched my Dad shoot gophers from the deck. Ahh, the country.

- Back up to my place to go running around Lake Harriet. (3.2 mi)

- Dinner at Taco Johns. Crunchy Chicken and Potato Burrito. Simply Amazing!

- Par-tay at Cory’s house. Lots of people. Lots of drinking. And ended the night with some karaoke and a Sea Creature Movie Marathon. Let’s just say you haven’t lived until you’ve watched the Jaws movie rip-off, ‘Orca’ with a bunch of people while drinking. “Hey look there’s someone getting attacked! DRINK. Hey there’s a girl taking her top off … again. DRINK!!: Good times. (In bed by 4am)

SUNDAY
- Woke up around 9am, whoa … wait a sec. Why am I so tired? What happened? Huh?!?

- Time for a wake-up run around Lake Harriet (3.2 mi)

- BBQ at my friend Anne’s house near Lake Nokomis (no relation to Pete and Anne), with some of my old friends who I haven’t seen in a long time. Good eats, good company, and sunburn too. Sweet!

- Cleaned the apt. (I hate doing dishes!)

- Walked around Lake Harriet (soooo nice out). (3.2 mi)

- Back to work tomorrow … damn.

Please plan ahead on fridays

This is just a simple request ... please plan ahead.

Okay to set this up let's jump back a bit. I constantly find myself feeling stir crazy on Friday afternoons now that the weather is nice outside. All day I long to break free of the shackles of my work environment in order to enjoy the freedom the weekend brings along with fresh air and sun shine as I go running around the lakes of Uptown-Minneapolis. However, without fail it seems that fellow co-workers (and clients alike) wait until 4:30pm or just as I'm walking out the door on Friday to get back to me or dump their problems into my email or voicemail. Like this...

"Hey Andy, this is Bob. Not sure if your around or not it's about 5pm on Friday ahhh, but ummm...yeah. I've got a whole bunch of changes I need done before the end of the day so if you could give me a call that'd be great. M'kay?"

OR my personal favorite, "Hey Andy, this is Tina. (screaming) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Call me."

Please folks be kind to the people that you work with. Don't wait until after 4pm on a Friday to dump your problems off on other people. They want to go home just as much as you do. Probably more.

This has been a public service announcement.

Weekend in Review

FRIDAY

Friday night I proved I wasn’t a loser … at Poker that is. When it comes to poker I’m normally the first guy out, but not this time! At the monthly PL Pride Poker Tournament I dominated the first game and came in 2nd place during the last game nearly clinching the coveted “Gold Jacket”. (The power of which enables the winner to have any whim fulfilled by those around him.) Well, no jacket, but I was happy to walk away with my monetary winnings.

Later that night the PL Pride gang (Eric, Pete, Mike, Corey, Aimee, Anne and Liz) enjoyed a bonfire at the Rick James' residence as we all huddled around the burning particleboard of Mikey B’s old entertainment system. Old plastic CD trays and all.

SATURDAY

After sleeping in I woke up to find (and enjoy) the warm weather finally signifying the death of Old Man Winter and all of his cold-hearted shenanigans. Got in a good run around Lake Harriet and then it was off to the airport to pick up the parents getting back from their vacation.

Saturday night I went with a few friends to the new movie Hot Fuzz. If you get the chance, GO SEE THIS MOVIE!! Absolutely hilarious! Ironically, later that night I was pulled over by the police for speeding. However, the officer who pulled me over was really cool and let me go with a verbal warning. Afterall, it was in an area with a ridiculously low-speed limit. It was one of those areas where it was downhill and you have to pretty much hammer on the brake the whole trip down the hill to even get close to the posted speedlimit. The officer saw I was frustrated, totally understood and let me go. Thanks Mr. Officer!

SUNDAY

Got in another run and a trip to the gym to lift weights. Said hi to Hanz and Franz. The rest of the very rainy day was spent in front of the TV watching movies and veggin' out. To quote Office Space, "Michael, I did nothing. I did nothing and it was everything I thought it could be!"

Well that about sums it up. Unfortuantely now it's Monday morning. I'm at work. And I sure wish I was home doing nothing.

P.S. Anne - If you are reading this post it's probably grammatically incorrect. ;)

Fun with Photoshop

Take a few personal photos, mix in some boredom, and little Photoshop magic ... and, presto! You've got this.

Buildings in Shinjuku (Tokyo) Japan

Japanese Tower

Stop looking at me SWAN!!!

Watertower in Cyrus, MN

The HOM Furniture Adventure (Part Deux)

Well HOM Furniture delivered my new bed this weekend and it's AMAZING!!

Two guys from HOM showed up on Saturday with my new Queen-sized mattress, box spring and frame and had it in the apt and the old one out in under 10 mins (with assembly). All with no delivery/take-away charge. Giddy-up!

My only gripe is they wouldn't take my old metal frame with them. Oh well, I'll find somewhere to ditch it.

But, I gotta say this new Serta mattress is wonderful! The second my body hits the bed I'm instantly asleep. I wake up and feel like I've been in a deep sleep the whole night. It's great! And not waking up in the morning stuck in a dip the size of the Grand Canyon with backpain ... it's a definite plus!

If you are in the market for a new bed (and in the Midwest), I'd recommend checking out HOM Furniture.

Why Bruce Campbell is the MAN!!

Enjoy some further proof as to why Bruce Campbell is one of the coolest guys of our time.

The HOM Furniture Adventure

Crappy Commercials. Great Exchange Policy!

I bought a Queen-sized mattress at HOM Furniture in 2003. Well for the last year or so, the bed I bought (Spring Air – Arlington) has had a huge dip in it and been giving me some killer back pain. Well I finally did something about it, and called up HOM. And the result, simply amazing!

I learned that my bed has a 10-year warranty with HOM Furniture, and within a week of calling they sent out a technician to inspect my mattress. The guy simply walked in my apartment, looked at my mattress and said, “Well, that’s about all I need to see. Your bed has a huge dip in it.” He measured it anyways. Normally the dip in a mattress only has to be 1.5 inches to be deemed "defective"; mine was over 3.5 inches. Ouch!

I got a call the next day telling me that my mattress was considered defective, and I had an in-store credit for the original purchase price of my mattress and box spring. So, Saturday morning I found myself at HOM Furniture and picked out a brand new bed, free of charge. What’s better still is the fact that HOM does free delivery, set-up and they haul the old one away. Doesn’t get any better then that!

So HOM Furniture. They may have some crappy annoying commercials, but in my opinion they have a great customer service department with some great exchange policies. Next time your in the market for a new bed or some furniture, check them out.

Happy Easter!

I need YOUR workout music recommendations!!

I must say that the invention of iTunes and the iPod are sheer genius. They've allowed me to enjoy my music library like never before. But because of that I've been listening to the same songs over and over again and getting sick of them. Especially, when it comes to my workout routine.

I usually go running and lift weights (not at the same time), and I need some tunes that get me pumped, moving and keep me going. I'm listening to the same old songs, and they just aren't doing the trick anymore. So, help me out!

Can YOU give me any good workout music recommendations? What do you listen to? Don't be shy, help me out!!

Thanks all!

Twins Home Opener!!

Today marks that yearly tradition that spring is here, and summer just around the corner.

Twins Home Opener!

Tonight the MN Twins square off against the Baltimore Orioles at the Metrodome around 6pm. It's sold out! So if your looking for tickets talk to a scalper, and if you're in the Downtown MPLS area around quitin' time ... expect some ugly traffic!

Go Twins!

--------
UPDATE: Twins beat the Orioles on Home Opener, 7 to 4!

Game started off with back-to-back homers from Morneau and Hunter, and some great pitching from Santana. Good game.

R2D2 has gone POSTAL!!

You may have noticed, but in an attempt to regain business the US Postal Service has partnered with Lucasfilm to bring you limited-edition Star Wars stamps on May 26th. In promotion of this event the USPS has dressed up their free-standing mailboxes across America to look like R2D2.

I ran into one of these mailboxes the other day not knowing about the promotion and (being a Star Wars fan) I thought I came upon a GREAT discovery. Turns out I didn't, but I still think it's a cool idea.

So cast your vote for your favorite Star Wars stamp here. Otherwise, click here to take a look at all R2D2 mailboxes across the USA. (Thanks to Pete for the picture find!)

Weeds and Leaves

Well I'm on a bit of a health kick right now. Exercising more and eating less/right. So I find myself eating a lot of salads lately. For lunch today I stopped off at McDonalds. Now I know what your thinking, "McDonalds, I thought he said he wanted to eat healthy?" You can, if you watch what you get there.

I got a side salad with Low-Fat Italian Dressing and a Plain McChicken Sandwich (throw away the bun). Bon Appétit!

The only thing is the Side Salad you get at McDonalds. Have you ever looked at one of those things lately? I was about to dive in and realized over half of the lettuce in the bowl looks like they ran out of traditional iceberg or romaine lettuce and had Juan (yes that was his name) go outside to pull weeds and leaves from the oak tree out back. What the hell, Juan? I'm not a rabbit!

Just a word of the wise for all of you on-the-go healthy eaters out in there blogland. Next time you pull up to McDonalds looking for a salad (which should be about .05% of the population), make sure you don't see someone raking leaves in the back of the restaurant.

This week in movies - Opening Friday, March 30th

Here's a run-down of the movies coming out to a theater near you this Friday. I think I can guess this weekend's clear winner, can you? (*cough* Gay Skaters *cough*)

BLADES OF GLORY

Stars: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett

The Plot: In 2002, two rival Olympic ice skaters (Ferrell and Heder) were stripped of their gold medals and permanently banned from men's single competition. Presently, however, they've found a loophole that will allow them to qualify as a pairs team.

My 2 cents: We all know Will Ferrell will be amazing. Personally, what I'm hoping for is some Will Arnett comedy magic in this one. I still don't want to admit to myself that Arrested Development is over. :(

THE LOOKOUT

Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jeff Daniels, Matthew Goode

The Plot: After experiencing a brain injury and facing a potential mental disability, a janitor (Gordon-Levitt) becomes part of a heist at the bank which employs him.

My 2 cents: Well, let's see if there is life post 3rd Rock from the Sun for actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt as he moves away from indie films and into a bit more mainstream this year.


MEET THE ROBINSONS

Stars: Daniel Hansen, Wesley Singerman

The Plot: A boy genius named Lewis (Fry) has his latest invention, a "memory scanner," stolen by the nefarious Bowler Hat Guy. Just when he's given up hope he'll ever retrieve his creation, he meets Wilbur Robinson (Fox), a curious young fellow from the future, who invites him to travel forward in time to meet his eccentric extended family (who really need Lewis's help), hunt down the thief, and perhaps learn a secret or two about his own past.

My 2 cents: Let's see if Disney's latest attempt at taking over the world in the animation realm works. I still say Hayao Miyazaki's the man! You just don't get any better. No CG needed.

Is E.T. French?

Well score one for all the paranoid UFO enthusiasts out there that have been trying to break into government secret UFO files for years. Okay, it's still a no go with the US, but if you had your sights set on France ... well then you're in luck, mon ami!

France opened their "Secret UFO Files" to the public yesterday, via website, with cases spanning 50 years. Of the 1,600 cases registered since 1954, nearly 25 percent are classified as "type D", meaning that despite good or very good data and credible witnesses, it is still something that can't be explained.

The only problem is that there has been such overwhelming response to the website that the traffic crashed all the servers almost immediately upon the launch of it. Try as you might, but there's still a cover-up. Bummer.

So I guess in the meantime, break out the X-Files DVDs and continue to live up the good life in your parent's basement.

The Truth is Out There!

French Govt - UFO Website
http://www.cnes-geipan.fr/

This week in movies

Well everyone in case you are heading out to the theaters this weekend. Here's a brief recap of movies coming out this Friday (3/23):

SHOOTER

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña, Rhona Mitra

The Plot: A marksman (Wahlberg) living in exile is coaxed back into action after learning of a plot to kill the president. Ultimately double-crossed and framed for the attempt, he goes on the run to track the real killer and find out who exactly set him up, and why. Side Note - Sadly, Marky Mark does not assemble the "funky bunch" to help clear his name. Just a solo mission on this one. :(

TMNT


The latest version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Back in all their CG splendor. The film has been getting some good buzz, and sure to be every 10 year old boy's favorite movie of the season, and mine.




REIGN OVER ME

Stars: Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Jada Pinkett Smith

The Plot: Emotionally shut off after losing his wife and daughters on 9/11, Charlie Fineman (Sandler) runs into his old college buddy, Alan Johnson (Cheadle). Rekindling the friendship is the one thing that appears able to help Charlie begin to wrestle with his grief. Side note - This movie also proves that Sandler can do a great look-a-like for a Bob Dylan bio-pic, in my opinion.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES II

Stars: Daniella Alonso, Jacob Vargas, Michael Bailey Smith

The Plot: Still a bad idea and a sadistic-twisted story. A group of National Guard trainees are attacked by mutants during a training mission in the New Mexico desert. So, bring the kids and scar them for life. This one's sure to be a instant family favorite!

Happy St. Patty's Day

Well tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day. Holiest of the Holidays for most Irish people across the world.

Have a beer, wear some green.

May the luck of the Irish be with you!

Biggest Tool Award

Yesterday, I came across the clear winner for this year’s “Biggest Tool Award.”

What is the “Biggest Tool Award” you ask (otherwise known as The Toolies)? Well honestly it’s something I just made up for when I come in contact with some moron (usually a guy) that goes above and beyond the call of normal morons and deserves to be recognized for being the biggest tool (annoying) that he can be.

Here’s how our winner came about: I was at the movie theater yesterday with some friends waiting in line to get in. This is when I noticed Capt. Dumbbell with his girlfriend. It was quite clear to see that Capt. Dumbbell obviously spent every free minute at the gym working out and a lot of time flexing in the mirror talking to himself about his ‘guns’, however not much time at the library or school “thinking”, as this clearly wasn’t his strong suit.

Well Capt. Dumbbell (I observed) about every five minutes would ask and accuse his friends (for all to hear) of grabbing his girlfriend’s ass. “Did you grab my girlfriend’s ass?!? You did didn’t you!!” To which then he would quickly respond without waiting for an answer, “I should make a sock-puppet out of you. Are you f’n crazy?!?” As he would flex and pound his fist in his hand.

Rinse and Repeat. This went on for quite some time, and after about 10 mins of this and still continuing his rants in the theater he had everyone’s nomination for the “Biggest Tool Award”.

So congrats Captain Dumbbell. You are this year’s clear winner of the Biggest Tool Award. And it’s only March! You should be proud … or ashamed.

P.S. - I grabbed your girlfriend's ass.

Daylight Savings Time

Well it's that hated time of year once again. Daylight Savings Time. This is your reminder to move your clock ahead one hour so you can lose some sleep.

Hope everyone is adjusting better than I am. I can't believe how tired I am this morning! :(

The insignificant events of my life

Well so far March has been a boooooring month. Hence no exciting updates for the blog. All I have to offer is a lot of little random insignificant updates.

Little random insignificant updates:

- I'm the Voice of God. Okay well not really, but if you are attending the Arctic Cat Dealer Show this week (Hilton - downtown Minneapolis), you'll probably hear me. Last week I recorded some voice over work for the Arctic Cat Dealer Show. If you are wondering who the "Voice of God" is announcing everyone during the show. That's me!

- I'm stopping ....... right now. The brake lights went out on my car. I first realized this last week when a guy pulled up alongside me honking his horn, looking irate, trying to get me to roll my window down. I figured I had cut him off and this was sure to be a road-rage incident that would make the 5 o'clock news, but no such luck. Dang! The gentleman instead informed me that my brake lights were out and he couldn't tell I was stopping and just about hit me 3 different times. Whoops! Well $300 later, and a new "turn signal switch" we're back in business.

- My friend Ben turned 28 last night and we celebrated in style. Happy B-Day Ben!

- My Daily Joke Calendar (bad x-mas gift) continues to be NOT funny.

- I recently confirmed that technology can be scary. The proof is here and here. (Yes, Big Brother is watching)

- Video games are addicting. I recently picked up the latest installment of Legend of Zelda (the Gamecube version) and it's amazing. Simply Amazing!

- Winter still sucks! Plain and simple. I hate the cold and snow, and miss running outside around Lake Harriet/Calhoun in the summertime. And I think about it often.

Fun Update:

A bit of a fun update for those of you who made it this far. As some of you know, I work on the MN Twins (advertising account) and we are currently working on the 2007 "Twins Territory" campaign. Well we finished the first two TV spots. Check them out by clicking here. There will be 2 more coming by end of March so keep checking the MN Twins website. Also, the first of the radio spots are up and running.

Well that's about it for now. Wish I had more to share, but like I said. March has been pretty suck-tastic.

Snow Day

Remember when we were kids back in elementary school or even junior high, and how amazing it was when we got a snow day? Well I've forgot that feeling until recently. I remember listening to WCCO radio for them to list all the school closings and when they'd finally said "Prior Lake-Savage Public and Private Schools are closed today". It was like a drug. A magical-wonderful drug. NO SCHOOL!!

Sometimes they'd even announce school closings before I got up for school. I remember my Mom walking in my room and waking me up saying, "Andy, you don't have to wake-up school is closed today." To which I'd respond, "Sweet! Wait ... why did you wake me up then?" But the feeling still stands. Snow Days to a kid are amazing!

Well I got to experience that feeling to a certian extent yesterday. As the clouds above decided to explode and dump mass amounts of that white poop called "snow" here in the Twin Cities. Schools and businesses all over the metro area shut down. At 2pm on Thursday (3/1) I called it quits and went home. Such a great feeling. And this morning as I type this email, I'm still debating on whether or not I'm going in, since 3/4 of the state is still shutdown.

So, if your fortuante enough to experience a 'Snow Day' today. Enjoy it my friend. Connect with your inner child and go build a snow fort.

Random Picture Day

No real original thought to share today. So here's a pic I took of a Grandma and her granddaughter feeding the birds outside a temple in Kyoto, Japan. Really cute kid.

Pretty Pictures

Well I had this idea to apply this technique to a couple of photos I took about a month ago, but I got sidetracked and my friend Mikey beat me to the punch. So now I just look unoriginal to those that frequent our blogs.

Oh well, they still make for pretty pictures. So there! I guess I'll go in the corner and pout now.

At work listening to System of a Down…

Well I’m in my office, behind my desk, listening to System of a Down on a boring Monday afternoon. And I’ve made a random observation…

I shouldn’t listen to System of a Down, while at work.

This isn’t cause I can get in trouble, nor am I offending anyone, nor is it even due to the many colorful lyrics peppered with the magical “f-bomb.”

However, I’ve found that when listening to System of a Down (especially on a boring Monday at work) I have the urge to get up and start running around the office, while kicking over file cabinets and crashing into people’s cubicals. Not exactly a career advancing move.

Perhaps this music is just best left for activities like: reckless driving, mosh pits and working out. Huh.

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UPDATE: 4:15pm

I got a new couple of CDs, and have switched to Big Band Music of the Fabulous Forties. Much more "office friendly" with it's soothing, yet peppy tone. Only drawback is it feels like I should be watching old Looney Tunes cartoons here. What up Doc?

V-Day Sucks!

I am of course referring to Valentine’s Day. Not the V-Day signifying “Victory Day” in celebration of the Allies over the Nazis in WWII.

Not to sound too negative here, but V-Day is way too overrated. It’s the one day where couples everywhere (especially guys) feel pressure to go out of their way and express their love for their significant other. Why should this one-day be different than any other? If you love your significant other they already know it, right? Well, I don’t know, but V-Day always seems to be an unnecessarily stressful day for most.

Every year I see a flood of people (mostly guys) running to and fro (yes I just typed ‘to and fro’) stores, skyways (downtown MPLS) and street vendors with armfuls of last minute gift ideas such as: flowers, red hearts (containing chocolates), and other random gifts. And these people always seem stressed out over-thinking the situation.

Yes, true I’m currently single. But that isn’t coloring my somewhat negative judgment here. Last year at this time I wasn’t single. I was seeing this girl and I started to stress out about what I should do for V-Day, just like everyone else. I asked myself, “Should I get her something? Do I need to plan something extravagant? What if I don’t? What’ll happen then?” Well, we talked it out and enjoyed a quiet, low-key dinner for two. Turned out to be a great evening. But I almost fell into the ‘V-Day’ trap!

All I’m saying is this V-Day don’t stress out and fall into the Greeting Card companies' trap. If you love someone, tell them yourself. That’s what it’s all about. Don’t feel you need a cheap cardboard red heart containing candies to do the job. Just my 2 cents.

Happy V-Day everyone.

The government stole from me

Well it's that annoying time of year, once again. Tax time! Well for most people it's around April 15th as they scramble from months of procrastination with the fear of the IRS coming for them. But I'm not one to procrastinate, so I usually get my taxes done around beginning of February.

I got my W-2s, my renter's credit form and it's time to get down to business. And since I'm single, rent an apartment, and have no debt. That usually means my taxes take about 10 mins on any tax software program. However, it's still annoying with the constant fear that I forgot something, or didn't deduct enough so the government will screw me over one way or another.

However, everything checked out. And I'm happy to say there is a refund in my future this year! There hasn't been the last couple, so it's a nice change of pace. So, take that! ... taxes

But, refunds are a funny thing. At first it's this feeling of excitement and pure joy as you get what you would think is "free money." However, then comes the slow realization that you are actually getting your own money back, which the government stole from you.

So my reaction usually goes something like this, "Sweet! Awesome, money back! ..... huh? ..... wait..... HEY, that's my money!!! Stupid taxes."

Oh well, at least I've got another year done.

Ducky

'Random Picture Day' here at Captain Random Headquarters. So...here's a picture of a "ducky" that was hangin' out in my hotel room in Santa Monica, CA. Stay true!


Linky Time:

How professors really grade papers (Props to Pete for the find)

Greatest Commercial EVER - Goulet!!

I didn't watch the Superbowl this year, which is a bit sacrilegious for me since I work in Advertising. However, I was checking out the commercials online today, when low and behold what do I find? An Emerald Nut commercial centered around "Robert Goulet." Sheer Screaming Genius!!

As I watched this commercial I was awe struck and once it was done I started to laugh uncontrollably and finished with saying (to myself) "That was the greatest commercial I've ever seen!" A co-worker happened to be walking by at the time and asked me if I was talking to myself. I tried to explain, but was speechless from what I had just witnessed. She figured it out soon enough, and agreed that it was a truly great commercial.

So enough of my yapping. If you haven't seen it click below and enjoy the creative brilliance that is a creepy Robert Goulet for Emerald Nuts!

Movie Trailer Spoofs

Must Love Jaws


10 Things I Hate about Commandments


Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross (viewer discretion is advised)

Too Frigin' Cold

To all of those people who complained that the first half of our Minnesota Winter was too warm (40 degrees) and no snow. Well you more than got your wish now (below zero temps and lots of snow). I have the frostbite to prove it.

I hope your happy, cause I'm not.

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Update: 2/6/07

Fifth straight day of below zero temps and snowing outside this morning like a MoFo. Winter in MN is fantastic! (minus the fantastic)

Simple Pleasures

Okay it seems stupid, but I got really excited at work today cause I FINALLY got my new work cellphone. It's a Black Motorola RAZR v3. Sure it's no Apple iPhone, but it's far more stylish and practical than the cumbersome piece of crap that I was carrying around. Man did that old cellphone suck! And what's worse is that it was a "hand-me-down" from a previous employee when I got here. Well no more!!

So now my new cell phone is charging up and free of scratches, dents, and problems. And I got lots of mins in case I want to get rid of my personal cell. It's a good day!

MN Twins - TV Shoot

Wow, what a crazy weekend, but it's now over and I'm running on about 3 hrs of sleep. Weeeee!

Got 3 TV spots filmed for the MN Twins this weekend. Funny stuff, and got to hang out with the players quite a bit. Real cool guys. Even got to be in a couple of the spots (as an extra).

Look for the commercials to start airing in March.

Nick Punto and Me

Redmond, Me, Morneau, and Mauer

(BTW - I'm 6'2" and normally taller than most people. Not these guys)

Santana, Me, Cuddyer, and Rincon

View the shoot pics ....

Friday 1/26 Metrodome shoot

OR

Saturday 1/27 Underwater Adventures shoot

One Year Old!!!

Well I just realized that my blog is now one year old. I started it on January 24, 2006.

I don't think I've really contributed anything great to humanity on here. Maybe, one or two good posts. (Probably not.) But at least I've spewed forth my ramblings onto the interweb, and junked it up a bit more.

Here's contributing to the information overload.

Happy Birthday, Captian Random!

Turd Furguson

I made out pretty good this year in the Christmas presents department. Each year can be a crap shoot (usually bad), but overall not to shabby. However I did get one turd. So bad in fact that I’ve even given it a name and end-up making fun of it everytime I see it in my apartment. The infamous present’s name, ‘Mr. Turd Ferguson.’

My routine usually goes like this. I wake up (most times unwillingly and groaning at my alarm), stumble my way into the bathroom, and there it is ... mocking me and I it.

‘Ahh, good morning Mr. Ferguson! You know, something does smell a bit off around here. Kinda like turds. Do you smell anything? You don’t? Well it does seem to be coming from you general vicinity. You're not fooling anyone you know.’ Yes, it’s true I’ve been known to have conversations with it. It's that bad.

What could be worthy of this lame and sophomoric running joke of an inanimate object? A daily joke calendar. It’s one of those tear-off-each-day calendars that when you get it you fake a smile while you think, ‘What the hell?!? Did they just stop off at Walgreens on the way over here? Hmm…I wonder if I could re-gift this?’ Oh well, it’s the thought that counts right? No, actually. No.

Well truth be told, I had such high hopes for this lame x-mas gift. I thought, ‘well this could be cool, right? I’ll put it in my bathroom and each morning it will help wake me up with gift of laughter.’ But I was wrong. Soooo wrong.

So far the jokes it has produced for the month of January have been mediocre to lame at best. And what’s really terrible is not only are the jokes not funny, but they are so bad that most respectable comedians wouldn’t be caught dead telling them at The Moose Lodge in Bumblefuck, Missouri.

But what really tops the cake is so far the jokes have largely been from washed up comedians. Yesterday was Paula Poundstone. Paula Poundstone? WTF??!?? When has anyone seen Paula Poundstone on stage lately? BTW - 1987 called. It wants to let you know it was over about 20 years ago.

Well, Turdy. No matter how bad you get, you’ve taken on a personality of your own and at this point it’s like watching a car accident or staring into the sun. You want to look away, you need to look away, but you can’t … even if you go blind.

So Mr. Furgeson, I guess you and I are in this together. But be warned, if I go down I’m knocking you over into the toilet.