Thursday, December 28, 2006

TOTAL PET TAKEOVER!!

I was at work today roaming the office halls watching people interact with one another's dogs. You see at my place of employment (an ad agency) people are allowed to bring their dogs with them to work. It promotes a more friendly and creative enviornment, or so the story goes.

Well anyways, as I was walking around the office I couldn't help but laugh and once again realize the power that animals have over the human species.

All morning I was listening to people (mostly women, and a few guys) seeing other people's dogs in the office and once they did, I noticed, an unavoidable force overtook them, crippled their bodies and they regressed in age to that of a 2 year old, going cross-eyed and making googly-baby noises. When this happened the dog usually started wagging it's tail, ears perked up (feeling attention starved) and then it went in for all the petting and attention that an animal can get, like a junkie with the promise of his next fix.

However, I pose something else is actually going on here. All over the world I purpose that dogs (and cats alike) are just playing possum having us think they are the lesser intelligent species, when one day as we all regress in intellect and spouting baby-speak they will finally make their move, strike with vengence and over take THE HUMANS!!

So next time you see a middle-aged woman hunched over a dog, go cross-eyed and start saying, "You're just the cutest little thing! Yes you are! Yes you are!" in her highest-pitched baby voice. Be prepared for an all-out imminent "ninja-style" attack by the furry little creatures we call 'pets'.

Just my observation.

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