The Venice/Sarasota area was really great and I'd recommend it to anyone. We got to see some great state parks, zoos, aquariums, great food, and gorgeous beaches along the Gulf.
However, while I was there in Florida I discovered some things that you need to do in order to blend in with the natives. They can be a bit annoying, but are important and are as follows:
THINGS TO DO TO BLEND IN AROUND VENICE, FL
1) Don't notice that the water smells like rotten eggs.
Commentary: Water in and around Venice, FL has a high concentration of sulfur giving it the fragrant aroma of rotten eggs. Mmmmmm.... PUKE!
2) You need to be 80 years old or older to blend in with the natives.
Commentary: It seemed to me over 90% of the population was there to retire or die. I was not, so I did not blend in.
3) Drive like a jack-ass at 90 miles per hour everywhere you go. Don't use turn signals. Cut other drivers off. It's all good and encouraged!
Commentary: I quickly discovered that NO ONE used turn signals, tried to cut me off at every opportunity, and with most of the drivers over the age of 80 and with poor eyesight and health, drivers usually just pulled out into oncoming traffic whenever they pleased. The roads at times became a scene from the movie 'Mad Max'. (I was Mel Gibson.)
4) If the weather gets colder than 70 degrees you must wear a parka and gloves and constantly complain about how cold it is and how bad you have it, while the rest of the country experiences -0 degree temperatures.
Commentary: Mary and I one day walked up to a restaurant for lunch and it was 68 degrees out. I was in shorts and a T-Shirt and Mary the same. We get to the hostess who was wearing a winter coat and gloves. I just about started laughing on the spot. Meanwhile, the temperature back in MN was -25 degrees during the day. Rock on!
Lastly, it just wouldn't be me if I didn't include some pics from my trip. So below are some selects from the Florida adventure.
3 comments:
Nice pictures! Step away from the Inner Shadow blending in photoshop.
Thanks.
I did go crazy with the "Inner Shadow" blending. I remembered you telling me about it so I thought I'd try it out ... on everything. lol.
Damn....those are awesome!! You should get some framed for your house. Those little lizards with the red throats....I used to have those as pets. They're called green anoles. They are like the gold fish of lizards.
Post a Comment