Simple Pleasures

Okay it seems stupid, but I got really excited at work today cause I FINALLY got my new work cellphone. It's a Black Motorola RAZR v3. Sure it's no Apple iPhone, but it's far more stylish and practical than the cumbersome piece of crap that I was carrying around. Man did that old cellphone suck! And what's worse is that it was a "hand-me-down" from a previous employee when I got here. Well no more!!

So now my new cell phone is charging up and free of scratches, dents, and problems. And I got lots of mins in case I want to get rid of my personal cell. It's a good day!

MN Twins - TV Shoot

Wow, what a crazy weekend, but it's now over and I'm running on about 3 hrs of sleep. Weeeee!

Got 3 TV spots filmed for the MN Twins this weekend. Funny stuff, and got to hang out with the players quite a bit. Real cool guys. Even got to be in a couple of the spots (as an extra).

Look for the commercials to start airing in March.

Nick Punto and Me

Redmond, Me, Morneau, and Mauer

(BTW - I'm 6'2" and normally taller than most people. Not these guys)

Santana, Me, Cuddyer, and Rincon

View the shoot pics ....

Friday 1/26 Metrodome shoot

OR

Saturday 1/27 Underwater Adventures shoot

One Year Old!!!

Well I just realized that my blog is now one year old. I started it on January 24, 2006.

I don't think I've really contributed anything great to humanity on here. Maybe, one or two good posts. (Probably not.) But at least I've spewed forth my ramblings onto the interweb, and junked it up a bit more.

Here's contributing to the information overload.

Happy Birthday, Captian Random!

Turd Furguson

I made out pretty good this year in the Christmas presents department. Each year can be a crap shoot (usually bad), but overall not to shabby. However I did get one turd. So bad in fact that I’ve even given it a name and end-up making fun of it everytime I see it in my apartment. The infamous present’s name, ‘Mr. Turd Ferguson.’

My routine usually goes like this. I wake up (most times unwillingly and groaning at my alarm), stumble my way into the bathroom, and there it is ... mocking me and I it.

‘Ahh, good morning Mr. Ferguson! You know, something does smell a bit off around here. Kinda like turds. Do you smell anything? You don’t? Well it does seem to be coming from you general vicinity. You're not fooling anyone you know.’ Yes, it’s true I’ve been known to have conversations with it. It's that bad.

What could be worthy of this lame and sophomoric running joke of an inanimate object? A daily joke calendar. It’s one of those tear-off-each-day calendars that when you get it you fake a smile while you think, ‘What the hell?!? Did they just stop off at Walgreens on the way over here? Hmm…I wonder if I could re-gift this?’ Oh well, it’s the thought that counts right? No, actually. No.

Well truth be told, I had such high hopes for this lame x-mas gift. I thought, ‘well this could be cool, right? I’ll put it in my bathroom and each morning it will help wake me up with gift of laughter.’ But I was wrong. Soooo wrong.

So far the jokes it has produced for the month of January have been mediocre to lame at best. And what’s really terrible is not only are the jokes not funny, but they are so bad that most respectable comedians wouldn’t be caught dead telling them at The Moose Lodge in Bumblefuck, Missouri.

But what really tops the cake is so far the jokes have largely been from washed up comedians. Yesterday was Paula Poundstone. Paula Poundstone? WTF??!?? When has anyone seen Paula Poundstone on stage lately? BTW - 1987 called. It wants to let you know it was over about 20 years ago.

Well, Turdy. No matter how bad you get, you’ve taken on a personality of your own and at this point it’s like watching a car accident or staring into the sun. You want to look away, you need to look away, but you can’t … even if you go blind.

So Mr. Furgeson, I guess you and I are in this together. But be warned, if I go down I’m knocking you over into the toilet.

Choose your own (picture) adventure!

Well I have finally returned from the land known as Los Angeles. And what a crazy time it was. Had a great TV shoot for work, relaxing times running on the beach, fancy/expensive dinners, and even saw a couple of celebrities. All in all just a great time!

Well we have come to a crossroads my friends. In honor of the 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books I used to read as a kid, I have posted two sets of pictures today ... so it is time for you to choose your own (picture) adventure. Which will it be? The Shoot in LA or The Wedding? Choose wisely.

LA SHOOT - PIC SET

JEFF & MELANIE ANDERSON'S WEDDING - PIC SET

P.S. - Each pic set contains way too many pics. But hey, what can I say ... I'm fascinated by cameras. They take pictures of things.

Life in LA

I'm currently staying in Santa Monica (LA), California for a TV Commercial shoot. Sounds pretty rough right? Well the next couple of days will be with 14 hr. shoot days, but the past few have been pretty easy going as we are wrapping up details (casting/wardrobe) before we begin shooting. So I've had quite a bit of free time.

Well as I woke up this morning, I looked out the window of my hotel room and saw the sunrise coming up on the Santa Monica beach and the Pacific Ocean. Just a breath-taking view. Simply amazing!

Once seeing this beautiful sight I was immediately energized to....

(CHOOSE ONE)

A.) Go for a 5K Run on the Santa Monica Beach alongside the Pacific Ocean

B.) Paint an Acrylic Picture of Seagulls on the beach.

C.) Read a book of Poems as I watch the sunrise come up.

D.) Go try and rescue a whale.

CORRECT ANSWER: A. Answers B-D are obviously wrong as they are homo-gay.

Seriously, though. If you ever get the chance. A run in the morning along the ocean is simply an amazing experience! I highly recommend it.

Well off to dinner. Later all!

Congrats Jeff and Melanie!!!

Well it's official Jeff Anderson and Melanie (formerly Cain) are now married! Congrats to you both!! It was a beautiful wedding and I was honored to be a part of it. I couldn't be happier for you both!!

Look for pics posted in about a week or so. Until then I'll be livin' life LA style as I'm back out to California for a week to shoot some more commercials.

Later all!

----

Update - 1/21/07

Click here for the pics.

Silent Star Wars

Health Club in January

Well it's January again and you know what that means? New Year's Resolutions. Yes the goals and ideals we set for ourselves that will never be attained. However, it an act of lunacy once we write a new year on our checks and memos a wave of inspiration hits us and we feel full of renewed energy and rebirth. "This year is going to be different!", we tell ourselves. Until the routine and old habits of February remind us how things used to be and bad tendencies take over, once again.

Well I always get a little frustrated in one particular area this time of year. And that's at the health club. I've been going to the health club to work out for little over 2 years now. And each year in January about a billion (and two) people decide that they are too fat and want to do something about it (this year). Well this creates a population explosion in the parking lot, workout machines, and every other inch of the health club for about a good month and a half until bad habits and the lure of the couch and and a tasty bag of chips, take over once again. And the attendance dies down...in about mid-February. Until then frustration ensues...

Yesterday morning was a prime example. I showed up to the Lifetime Fitness Health Club to go running about 8:30am on Saturday. The parking lot ... packed full. Not a free spot within a 5 mile radius. As I drove in the parking lot, I could see about 7 other cars swimming around the lot like a pack of hungry sharks lurking and waiting for their next victim ... the elusive parking space. After about 5 mins of driving around I eventually just gave up, found a curb painted yellow and parked illegally. The place was packed!! Luckily, most everyone that was there were in workout classes so the running track was free and clear.

I guess the morale of this frustrating tale (other than me venting) would be. New Year's Resolutions are stupid!! Why? Cause people lack willpower. If you truly do have the willpower to stick with something, better yourself, and others. I salute you!! Go forth my brother (or sister) you are truly a rare breed and are a role model for the rest of us.

However, if not ... please steer clear of the Lifetime Fitness parking lot.

Thank you for your time.

New Year's Eve - Par-TAY!!

Well another year has come and gone. In celebration, I spent the night ringing in the New Year at the Rick James residence with some good old fashioned … food, folks, and fun.

After I braved the craptastic weather, which consisted of a frustrating car trip of going 30 MPH on the Highway (stuck behind two snowplows), seeing about 6 cars in the ditch, and a 30 min trip that should have taken 15 mins. I finally arrived at the Rick James for a true celebration.

Let the record show that I brought “homemade – real cooked" food this year to share with all!!!

You see, for the last 2-3 years worth of parties I’ve always been the guy that brings the “Chips and Dip” along with “Cookies” to share. The reason for this is well … I don’t really cook. Every time I get crap for it, so I finally went above and beyond the call of duty and brought LOTS of homemade food. This included: Italian Meatballs, Snickers Salad, a variety of Christmas Cookies, and Carmel Corn. This joined the veritable Old Country Buffet amount of food strewn about the kitchen. There was sooo much good food present, in fact, that well let’s just say I think James had plans to start up his own OCB complete with ice cream sundae and twisty cone machine.

Overall, great times were had. Kudos to James on another party well done. We ate, laughed (a lot), drank (a lot), played games, made fun of Vahn (a lot), danced to Sir Mix-a-Lot and partied till about 3AM in the morning.

Below are a few pics for your viewing pleasure. Otherwise to view all the pics of that fateful night ... click here.

The Crew

An "over-excited" Corey and Mel

Mikey B, Aimee, and Me

Eric showin' off that PL Pride

Mikey B and Anne

Chris and Pete

Happy New Year Everyone!

TOTAL PET TAKEOVER!!

I was at work today roaming the office halls watching people interact with one another's dogs. You see at my place of employment (an ad agency) people are allowed to bring their dogs with them to work. It promotes a more friendly and creative enviornment, or so the story goes.

Well anyways, as I was walking around the office I couldn't help but laugh and once again realize the power that animals have over the human species.

All morning I was listening to people (mostly women, and a few guys) seeing other people's dogs in the office and once they did, I noticed, an unavoidable force overtook them, crippled their bodies and they regressed in age to that of a 2 year old, going cross-eyed and making googly-baby noises. When this happened the dog usually started wagging it's tail, ears perked up (feeling attention starved) and then it went in for all the petting and attention that an animal can get, like a junkie with the promise of his next fix.

However, I pose something else is actually going on here. All over the world I purpose that dogs (and cats alike) are just playing possum having us think they are the lesser intelligent species, when one day as we all regress in intellect and spouting baby-speak they will finally make their move, strike with vengence and over take THE HUMANS!!

So next time you see a middle-aged woman hunched over a dog, go cross-eyed and start saying, "You're just the cutest little thing! Yes you are! Yes you are!" in her highest-pitched baby voice. Be prepared for an all-out imminent "ninja-style" attack by the furry little creatures we call 'pets'.

Just my observation.

I'm Big in Japan

Well I finally made it back from Tokyo, Japan. Overall, a fantastic trip and some truly AMAZING experiences were had. If you ever get the chance to go, I highly recommend it!

I also managed to take about a billion (and two) pics for all to enjoy. Click here to view them.

Well as proof of a trip well done I leave you with this evidence that I'm BIG in Japan.

Cheers!

Charlie the Unicorn

Crazy adventures ensue at Candy Mountain, and it just goes to show...

NEVER TRUST A UNICORN!!

Happy Festivus!!

Well it's that time of the year once again. Time to get the pole out of the crawlspace and begin the alternate holiday tradition ... Happy Festivus Everyone!!

Let us all partake in the: (1) Airing of Grievances, and (2) The Feats of Strength.

Happy Festivus.

Look it`s Godzilla!!

Well I`ve finally arrived! Tokyo, Japan. That was one long-ass flight (12 hrs.)! I figured it out. I was up for 25 hours straight when I was finally able to go to bed for the first time in Japan.

Well I`m here, no one looks like me, and no one speaks my language.

Gotta love Japanese Yen though. It doesn`t look and feel like real money, more like Monopoly money. So, let the fun begin and spend spend spend!!

(I just got Park Place. Sweet!!)

P.S. - Happy Lucky Big Time ... You Buy LOTS!!!

Leavin' on a Jetplane

Well it's finally here. A trip 3 years in the making is at hand.

Tomorrow at 1pm my flight departs for Tokyo, Japan!! Two weeks of little people, strange languages, and foriegn food. I can't wait to be the tallest guy in the country as people take pictures of me and yell "GODZILLA!!"

Sayonara Everyone! Maybe I'll even be able to do an update or two from the road.

My First Wild Hockey Game

No, I’m not 3 years old. Well, mentally maybe. But today I witnessed my first Minnesota Wild hockey game. And as far as first experiences could go, not too bad.

I got a call from the Rick James and he told me he had an extra ticket and today was the day to behold my first Wild hockey game in the Xcel Arena. Now I’ve been to the Xcel Arena before for concerts (Foo Fighters/Weezer – which was amazing!), but never hockey. So I ran down to James (well actually I drove), we hopped in the H-Bomb and we were on our way.

First, I was hungry and needed sustenance before the game. Hey, any real player needs his energy right? What other better place to stop for food than McDonalds? Well, in the words of Ron Burgundy, “McDonalds was a bad choice!” Half-way through the game I experienced what I can only describe as side-splitting cramps as my body started to reject the foul cuisine that I had mistakenly put into it. But as any good hockey player would do; I shook it off and played with the pain.

So long story short, we got free parking, got to the arena and took our seats. The thing that’s great about the Xcel Arena is that every seat is a great seat. Especially the 200 level (upper deck – cheap seats), which is exactly where we sat. Great seats from up there you could see everything!! We were ready for the game!

The challenge: MN Wild vs. Phoenix Coyotes. Okay, not too hard of a challenge. As the Phoenix Coyotes are not doing too well this year, even under the tutelage of hockey great Wayne Gretzky. However, all in all a pretty entertaining hockey game. Lots of good plays, near misses, and good team work. The final score was 4-0 and the Wild were victorious against Wayne Gretzky’s lame Coyotes. Sorry Gretzky! You may have been the former god of hockey, but we can’t live on memories alone. Just ask the band Poison.

Once the game was over, that’s when the real action took place. The moment Rick James had been preparing and anticipating for for who knows how long. I watched as the last few seconds ticked by on the scoreboard clock and then listened as the final horn blared defiantly, signifying the end of the game. I stood up thinking we were going to leave and all I notice is an arm on my shoulder and a quick few words from the James, "Oh no, man. Sit down. We’re not leaving yet. The best part is coming!” Confused I sit down and wait patiently. I watch and look down at the arena where everyone starts to file out of their rows as they look like ants leaving the colony. Soon the arena gets emptier and emptier. Finally, after a few minutes only a few people are left and James stands up and says, "Here we go!" Immediately the Rick James springs into action running up this row and that. Bending down with lighting quick speed and reflexes he continues to pick stuff up from the floor while running like a monkey on a mission. What is he picking up? Why is he running up the rows and aisles? I quickly figure it out what he is doing. What some consider trash … to the James is gold. He’s going around and picking up all the used plastic souvenir cups he can find for the use of his beloved daily 'Chocolate Milk routine' at home, or perhaps for the use of cups to serve beer at his next party.

After a few minutes James returns and says,” Okay dude, now we can go.” I look up to a towering monument of MN Wild cups. Even Wally the Beerman would be proud! There were 39 in all, just one cup shy of 40. We head out of the arena and everyone we pass just stares at the wobbling stack of plastic cups and a few people ask if Eric’s okay to drive home or if he’s had too much to drink to which he responds in a fake drunken accent, “Iiimmm alllrriigghttt!”

We get back to the car, the cups hit the backseat and we’re on the road. I’ve experienced my first Wild game and Eric has his crowning achievement. All in all, a good adventure.

However, just a word of wisdom to the readers out there. Next time you find yourself down at the Rick James’ House of Funk and he offers you a cup to put your beverage of choice in. Take a close gander at the emblem on the cup and an even closer look inside. Consider it just a few words of wisdom from a fellow onlooker.

Guitar Hero II. Greatest Game EVER???

Well I'm behind the times a bit on this one, but through some co-workers I recently discovered the video game magic and addiction known as Guitar Hero II. For those that aren't familiar (like I was). This is one of those video games you usually encounter people playing in the aisles of Best Buy, while parents and friends are yelling at the player in phrases like, "Billy, we have to go NOW!!" or "Okay, fine I'm leaving then. See watch here I go, I'm walking out the door!! This is me walking out the door now." or my favorite "Hey dumbshit, we gotta go the movie starts in like 5 mins!!!"

Well rarely does a video game come along that no matter your level of skill, interest or coolness in relation to the "video game" category that a game can captivate and get you addicted so much that you tend to lose all track of time, forget loved ones, or just have a general disregard for all other obligations in life. Well Guitar Hero is one of those games!!

Last week with the release of Guitar Hero II some co-workers were playing it and competing here at work. I was trying to get them to do something (job related), but instead I was being ignored as everyone was addicted and playing Guitar Hero II. Well, hey if you can't beat 'em join them, right? (Or key their cars ... but that's a different story.) So I picked up the guitar, started the game and *BAM* I was hit with a shockwave of instant hypnotic addiction. Maybe it was the music, maybe the seizure inducing blinking lights or maybe my aching wrist and cramped fingers ... I can't be sure. But I was hooked!! That night I immediately went and bought my own version from Best Buy. A week later, I can say I'm still hooked and it was a sound purchase.

So for those not yet addicted to Guitar Hero II, well ... enjoy your freedom while it lasts. For all other curious potential rockers click here.

BTW - This game includes over 55 songs to rock out to including "Trogdor" by Strong Bad. It doesn't get any cooler then that!! Burninating the Countryside!!

Go Vote!

Well today is election day and this is your reminder to get out and vote!

Personally, I probably won't (because I don't give a rip about any of the candidates), but you should because unlike me you are a good person, right!?!

Don't know where to vote? Fear not, my fellow voter!

Click here to find where to go to the polls.

Red Bull ‘Art of the Can’ Exhibit – A Tale of Fake People

So last night I found myself at the Weisman Art Museum for the private showing of the Red Bull ‘Art of the Can’ Contest – Sculpture Exhibit. First off, I was there because my ad agency, sponsored by Red Bull, had a number of people who did a couple of sculptures that made it into the show.

Going into the event I wasn't sure what to expect other than the event should be pretty laid back with a bunch of free Red Bull around and some cool young “extreme sport” type of people. Right? Umm….yeah. I was wrong.

First off, my group and I stroll in (sporting our fancy t-shirts and jeans) around 9:30pm; 2.5 hours after the exhibit has started. The place is PACKED!! And the men are in fancy suits with black ties and the women in even fancier revealing dresses.

Secondly, from my keen observation skills I quickly realized you either fell into one of three categories.

• Category 1 - You were an artist with weird misunderstood (for a reason) clothing and hair that looked like you just woke up.

• Category 2 - You were a boorish pretentious bastard artist-wannabe that wouldn’t talk to anyone because you thought you were above it all. ....OR
  

• Category 3 – You were severely underdressed (and uninformed) because what you thought was going to be a laid back fun event (like it said on the invitation) really wasn’t accurate at all.

All in all, despite our expectations being WAY OFF. It was a good time. We all enjoyed: free Vodka Red Bull drinks all night long, jaw droppingly hot women to look at (always nice), some pretty cool looking sculptures made out of Red Bull cans and some interesting artists to talk to.

What was really funny about the night though is how everyone there took the exhibit and everything so seriously. Come on people, this the Red Bull ‘Art of the Can’ Contest at the Weisman in Minnesota. We're not socialist fashionistas looking for the next potential Picasso in New York City. So adjust your expectations (and attitudes) accordingly.

If you want to check out the Red Bull ‘Art of the Can’ Exhibit. It opens to the public this Saturday, Nov. 4th -12th at the Weisman Art Museum in Minneapolis. Click here for details. And keep drinking that Red Bull.