Tuesday, May 29, 2007

What NOT to do … a dog owner's guide

This past Memorial Day weekend people were out in full force enjoying our nice short-lived MN weather. As I was out and about around the lakes in Minneapolis I happened to notice several “DON’Ts” for any dog owner and for the benefit of mankind I’ve chosen to illustrate what NOT to do to your dog.

This may (and should) seem like common sense to most.

Tip #1: Do NOT put a hat on your dog!

It’s pretty sad, but I saw several hats on dogs this weekend. You may be a middle-aged woman longing for a child and want to dress them up, but your dog is not a substitute and you must resist this urge at all costs (also see Tip 3). Do NOT put a hat on your dog. They don’t want it, and it humiliates you both! See photo.

I saw several hats on dogs this weekend and in each instance (besides it looking totally frickin’ ridiculous) the dog was humiliated (tail down) and kept clawing at it in an attempt to remove the uncomfortable torture device.

Tip #2: Do NOT put goggles on your dog!

Another pet fashion catastrophe I noticed was people putting sport goggles on their dogs. I saw this several times. In each case the dog kept shaking it’s head violently to try and remove the goggles. I couldn’t but help feel sorry for the dog each time. And what I kept thinking was, "If the dog keeps shaking its head the goggles will end up hurting its eyes rather than protect them, right?" It took all my willpower to not run over to the dog, take the goggles off, and yell at the owner for being an idiot and torturing their pet.

Think about it, dogs are animals and better equipped than us for outdoor harsh situations. Also, chances are if it’s 85 degrees outside, sunny and mild your dog is not going to need protective eyeware.

Tip #3: Do NOT put your dog into outfits, no matter how small it is.

Lastly, I will point out that it's not cool to dress your dog up in various “cute” themed outfits. I saw an older lady this weekend carrying around her very small dog, as if it was her child, in what I can only guess was a Teddy Bear themed outfit. She thought it was adorable, however everyone else around her thought it was about the saddest thing they’d ever seen. No dressing up your dog in so-called “cute” themed outfits! I know your dog can’t talk, but I know they don’t like it. Trust me! Again, it humiliates you both.

So overall I hope we’ve learned some important tips on being a responsible dog owner here today. (I should also point out the same goes for cat owners.)

Today’s Lesson: DO NOT DRESS UP YOUR DOG! It humiliates you both!

6 comments:

anne elizabeth fern said...

Fredo has a winter coat made out of corderoy and he loves it. Of course, it is functional and not just for aesthetic purposes. Although it is really damn cute :P

Captain Random said...

Hmm...I'd have to see it to make a judgement call.

However, from what I saw this weekend I'd have to say that Fredo's winter coat is probably one of the more tamer canine apparel choices.

anne elizabeth fern said...

Would you want to be outside in a Minnesota winter without a coat? I rest my case :)

Captain Random said...

Our MN winters can indeed be unbearably cold. Not fit for man or beast that's for sure!

However, dogs unlike humans come equipped with a fur coat already. It's nature's plan. But like I said before you probably have one of the tamer choices in canine apparel, as Fredo's coat is indeed functional (i.e. - damn cold MN winter).

The monstrosities I wrote about and saw this weekend were well, neither functional nor practical. They were just humiliating canine torture devices implemented for their owner's amusement. Sounds a bit harsh, but it wasn't if you saw what I saw. Just ridiculous!

anne elizabeth fern said...

Some dogs, like humans, are not equipped well for winter. Many dogs do not have thick coats of fur, and get cold quickly. I don't disagree about dressing your dog up for fun. It's sad, and I feel sorry for those dogs.

Captain Random said...

Goulet.